3.03.2006

Little Plastic Thrones.

We had dinner at our favorite restaurant tonight. It was pleasant and the food was fabulous, but I wouldn’t say that it was peaceful or quiet. Sports playing preschoolers had gathered from miles around to celebrate something magnificent that I surely could not comprehend. I am sure they won something or broke some record (like the youngest group to ever break the sound barrier or my eardrums). Their doting parental chaperones were very proud and subservient. We all know who was really calling all the shots in there and they couldn’t even reach their plates without “booster seats” (or “little plastic thrones” as I am wont to call them).

Anyway, after dinner tonight, I noticed something even more surprising than a large assembly of children making plans to conquer the world. Something miraculous. Something to celebrate indeed. I ate my entire dinner, sauce and all without (I repeat, without) spilling anything down the front of my shirt. Okay this may not seem that impressive to some of you, but I have a magnetic shelf on the front of my body that attracts every speck of stain inducing food within a fifty foot radius.

I also understand that this may not seem very profound, but I promise I am getting there. When I stood up, and proclaimed to the world “Hey look I ate my entire meal without spilling anything on myself,” the entire room of miniature dictators broke out into applause and simultaneous cries of glee. And that is when I thought to myself that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they achieved global domination after all. Clearly they understand priorities.

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