3.22.2006

Let's Get This Panty Started.

Yep panty! That’s what I said and I meant it! No. I am not asking for collaborators in some strange sewing or knitting project, but instead allowing a running joke to run itself right into the ground.

Here is the short abbreviated version of the story: Dear friend of mine goes to Iraq. He communicates mostly through email and his letters always include a signature that reminded the receiver to report back the color of her panties for a “survey”. Why was this his signature? I can not fathom a guess, but I did not want to compromise his “survey” and thus I felt it necessary to report a panty color each and every time we corresponded. That soon became tiresome. I mean really, each time I had to glance down and look at my panties simply to decide if they were still “white” or had they finally become a well worn shade of “beige.” Then I wondered, should I mention the holes and fraying elastic? I didn’t think so.

With this, I felt a pressing desire to create the “Random Panty Color Generator”. It worked very well, providing us with such delights as “Raspberry Beret,” “Mellow Yellow,” and “Back Porch”. However, it quickly went on hiatus after it’s disappointing appearance on “Girls Gone Wild”. Not to mention, my friend came home.

Her virginal younger sister, the “Random Fiber Color Generator,” was born last year on my previous blog. Her legacy brought many wonders, including the colors: “Monkey Business,” “Snazzy Biscuit,” and “Lickety Split Yellow.” Now, she has gone off to school, where her virginal status will remain in question.

Trust me, I don’t think that either of these generators made the world any brighter. They did not cure any diseases, or feed the homeless. Heck, they didn’t even do my dishes. They did entertain me though (only me) and because I am feeling somewhat narcissistic today, I have decided to let my panties have their day in the sun. The Random Panty Color Generator returns. She may not be able to tell you which panty color you are wearing, but she’ll let you know which panty color you should be wearing! So lets get this kitten purring and see what she has to say!

*Panties shown above are from urbanoutfitters.com*

*All of your sweet comments were saved to Haloscan at the time of original post*

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